It's a little bit funny

The man and I saw each other, and almost everyone else that I love, this weekend at my parents' house. It was lovely. We spent the whole weekend hanging out with my friends and my family -- including my adorable nephew who is almost a year old. Wow! I feel like he was just born yesterday; and now he's crawling around, yelling about things, pushing every button he can find, and getting his hand stuck in the recliner.

(It wasn't pretty. But nothing was broken, so he's okay.)

I just love that child to pieces.

But, other than singing with my nephew, I also watched the new episode of Doctor Who with my wonderful friends. That show is my happy place. I always feel like everything will be okay when I'm watching that show. Because, of course, the Doctor always saves the day. Sometimes bad things happen, but it's all okay in the end. Maybe I just wish that the Doctor will sweep in one day and carry me off in the TARDIS to have grand adventures with him, and then return me five minutes after we left.

The fact that Amy Pond manages to do this and still make it back in time for her wedding makes this option extra-tempting...

Speaking of the wedding (I know you were wondering how long I'd be able to avoid talking about it), the man and I also spent a significant part of the weekend thinking about, talking about, and compiling our guest list. What a headache! I feel like I'm organizing a VIP party. And I don't even like parties. They stress me out. What to do? What to eat? Where will they stay? Too many things to think about. And then there's the actual party. Do I have to talk to everyone? It looks like A___ isn't having a good time, maybe I should encourage her to talk to B___! Dear oh dear. All these things I should not be concerned about, but am anyway. That's life, I guess.

Here's a heads-up, those of you coming to the wedding: Please entertain yourselves. All our friends are awesome, so it won't be hard.

But in addition to the actual Being Allergic To Parties aspect, weddings also have this odd tradition of inviting a lot of people who probably won't come. As if planning a party wasn't crazy enough! This makes any sort of count almost impossible, because they could come if they wanted to. They could, potentially, hop on a plane and fly from Washington to Ohio to see their wife's-cousin's-daughter get married. I mean, they have an invitation, don't they? And, knowing my family, I'm not ready to discount that possibility.

This is a dumb tradition. I don't know why it hasn't been replaced by something more useful. This is, after all, the 21st century. Why don't we have Pre-Wedding Announcements or something? Like a polite way to inform people that you're getting married so they can send their regards if they wish, but not an actual invitation. That would be less hassle. And less stress.

But alas, the wedding industry is all about stress.

And, the wedding industry is all about traditions, too. There are so many weird things we do at weddings. Does anyone even know why? I've looked up a few of these things for my own personal satisfaction, but that doesn't necessarily make me feel better about having them at my wedding.

But, I'll get into wedding traditions in my next post. Back to the discussion at hand:

Who on earth am I sending invitations to?

If the world was a perfect place, I would jump into the TARDIS and visit my wedding, so I can see which of my distant relatives show up and which of them don't. Then I could just send invitations to the perfect number of people with no guesswork involved!

Unfortunately, this is not the case. And so, I must continue to stare at the list of names and try to guess. It also might be helpful to know how many people can fit into the fellowship hall at church... I should probably call the secretary and find out. Just one more thing I've forgotten to do. Ugh.

Well, it's off to class with me. Gotta talk about nouns in my grammar class, than the Iliad in literature. I feel like I'm living in two different worlds.

Until next time.

Lyrics in title from "Your Song" as sung by Cameron Mitchell

Dear Heart

I was told by a friend that I should post in my blog again. I told her that blogging has always struck me as a sort of self-centered activity that I need to be in the right mood for. I have to admit that she had a good point in her reply:

"How can it be self-centered? You're not making anyone read. People can completely ignore you. And then those of us who care can read if we want to."

I guess she's right. (I mean, that's really obvious.) The striking lack of comments is proof that people are good at ignoring my blog. So why do I care? Who knows. Probably my vanity is offended that I would do anything without surety of encouragement and affirmation. Ha! Well, my vanity is silly. And I guess some people care. So blog I shall.

I'll start with a quick recap of everything that's happened since my last post, for those of you just tuning in. The peace of Christmas quickly gave way to stress over my class schedule (which is tenuously hanging on the balance of graduating on time), and finding a job for the summer. I had decided to live in Columbus this summer with my friend from school -- for better chances of finding a nannying job (what I really wanted) and also to be closer to the Man. Since we've had a pretty long-distance relationship from the start, I thought it would be nice to spend some real time with him. I found a job at the last possible moment, and so I relaxed for a bit; I soaked up the summer sun, played with my nine-year-old charge, spent weekends with the Man and his family, and just enjoyed life. Apparently being around the Man was a good choice for my summer, because he popped the question at the end of June.

Since then, four things in my life have changed.

1) I have a very sparkly ring. With the centerpiece being two heart-shaped Mystic Topaz gems instead of the traditional diamond, it's quite the unique piece of jewelry. The Man did a good job putting it together.

2) My memory has dramatically declined. Prime example: I took my phone with me into the swimming pool. And stayed in there for 15 minutes before I remembered it. Maybe the Mystic Topaz is so Mystic because it steals memory! (This is my private theory.) I already had a bad memory, but I can find no other way to explain how I keep forgetting the simplest and most obvious of things, like what state my best friend lives in. Unless I have Alzheimer's. Yikes!

3) I have been unable to completely open my jaw. Although I didn't feel very stressed, apparently I was, according to my dentist. And apparently I had a case of latent lockjaw just waiting to spring on me when I was least expecting it. Home remedies include Ibuprofen (not often), hot-cold compresses (less often), and a mouthguard (not purchased yet on account of its being expensive). Can you tell I've been a little sidetracked? And I'm sure you can guess what I've been sidetracked with...

4) I am planning a wedding! This has occupied most of my time between June 25th and August 22nd -- the start of school. I knew I was going to be crazy-busy once I started school again, between 18 credit hours, being a leader in my small group, and having three part-time jobs. That gave me almost two full months to plan out as much of the wedding as possible.

(This was a daunting task.)

Thankfully, the friend I was living with was amazingly excited for me, and we ran off to the Main Library in Columbus almost immediately to check out as many How To Pay For A Wedding Without Mortgaging A House Or Selling Myself As An Indentured Servant books as possible. I was really hoping to find a book entitled The Secret To Having The Best Wedding Ever For Free but I knew there was a very slim chance of that.

And besides, the Man is constantly reminding me that it's okay to spend money on some things. I'm still working on being okay with that. I'm paranoid-ly frugal 99% of the time. This is sometimes helpful (price-comparing groceries) and sometimes not (stressing about finding the book that cost $.02 less than the other one). But anyway, enough about my character flaws.

We checked out ten wedding books (ten!) and she then started looking up bridal boutiques around the Columbus area. Somewhere in all of this I decided that by the end of the summer I needed to figure out the three things I couldn't have a wedding without (other than the Man. I already had him. Per the ring.)

1) The Dress

2) The Wedding Party

3) The Ceremony and Reception Location

Everything else is pretty optional in my opinion. Take that as you will. (Who needs guests? Or decorations?)

So, I visited a boutique in my home town with several of my close friends, and a David's Bridal in Columbus with Kati, and then made appointments at the boutiques around Columbus that Kati had found and highlighted as good prospective places. A few days later, Kati and I set aside a day we both had off and spent it driving around Columbus attending these appointments and trying to find The Dress. It was quite an adventure. I'll spare you the horrifying story of the store who had been struck by the Glitter Hurricane and the heart-wrenching stories of the The Dress With The Good Back But Weird Front and The Dress With The Beautiful Front But Boring Back. I ended up finding the perfect dress at the last shop we went to that day -- the one I almost skipped because it looked far too highbrow for my college-kid budget. God sighting, anyone?

Wedding Dress: Check. I got the nod from my mother and friends, and it was ordered a few weeks later when my mother came to visit.

One down, two to go. Thankfully, the next one was easier. And less glittery.

The Man and I wrestled back and forth with the size of the wedding party (seven attendants, or three?) before we finally agreed on a middle ground of five.We asked our friends, they all said yes, and everything was coming up roses.

Two down. With summer drawing to a close, I still had no idea about my Location, Location, Location.

The Ceremony Location wasn't a hard decision. Since The Man is insistent about having an open invite to both of our churches, and we both have wide friend/family groups, we decided to go with my church. It's larger than his church by a long shot, and the sanctuary is a lovely setting for a wedding ceremony (I've personally been to two at my church.)

The Reception Location, however, was a huge trial. My church doesn't allow dancing, so the Fellowship Hall -- the most convenient and hassle-free option -- was out from the get-go. I assembled a list of other reception hall and community halls, but phone calls and emails to them revealed that they were either 1) too small, 2) already booked, or 3) required use of their overpriced catering service. I was not pleased with these options, but I finally found someplace who wasn't booked, wasn't too small, and whose catering service was less overpriced than others.

Just when everything was looking up, the lady informed me that they were readjusting their prices, and she would get back to me when they were figured out.

Several weeks and emails later, still no news.

Then my godmother got a bright idea. (She's full of bright ideas.) She suggested having the food, cake, and toast portion of the reception in the church fellowship hall, and then move the party to my place for dancing.

(Note: If you didn't know, my house is pretty [very] big, and very open. It has been the host of many parties and events in its time.)

I thought this sounded like a grand idea, but the Man was less sure.

Was there enough room for everyone?

Yes, if we move out most of the furniture, which mom is happy to do.

Won't we lose a lot of people in the transition?

Probably the people who wouldn't be dancing anyway. Recall that we both go to Southern Baptist churches?

Right. What about parking?

Cul-de-sac and neighbors.

Even though I was able to answer all of his questions, he still wasn't sold. He sat on this decision for weeks until finally giving it the thumbs-up this afternoon. Since school started yesterday, I guess I'm a little behind on my goal. But, oh well. Now I've got more pressing things on my mind. Like figuring out my classes. Oh, and taking the Praxis in November. Heh.

As a side note/warning, this blog is probably going to be dominated by school and wedding planning through the next 9 months, if this post didn't give you a hint of that already. --b

Until next time.

Song in title: "Dear Heart" by Sanctus Real

Christmas, Babies, and Other Holidays

I know it's been quite a while since I've posted anything. Life's been a bit hectic.

Also, in case anyone was wondering, I did make it through Lent as a vegan. Easter turkey was delicious. And, although I didn't think I would ever say this, I got into a lot of good habits through that experience. I also learned some things about myself. Such as, dairy products actually make me feel very blah. I never noticed that until I stopped consuming them entirely. Now I pretty much avoid most unnecessary dairy, and I feel like I have more energy. Weird, huh? I also realized that I don't like meat as much as I thought I did. I've found myself reaching for garbanzo beans and veg-options a lot more since I went vegan for Lent. And I actually like it.

In fact, it was my vaguely vegetarian approach to food that led me to try something completely new whilst in New York this summer: eggplant. It's actually really good. Who knew?

But anyway, that's not what I was going to post about.

I was going to post about babies. Because I've suddenly found myself bookended by babies. My brother's wife had her first baby in October, and my best childhood friend just had her baby on my nephew's 3-month anniversary of life. I was suddenly reminded of how differently everyone handles motherhood. My sister-in-law is a very practical and no-nonsense sort of person, and her (very affectionate) relationship with Nick does nevertheless show that. My friend is a much more protective and passionate person, and her relationship with Eli certainly shows that. It's very interesting to watch.

Also, no matter who you are, you have to admit that having a baby fall asleep in your arms is a peaceful feeling.

I was also going to post about Christmas, because Christmas was crazy this year, and I feel like I finally discovered what most people go through on Christmas. My immediate family being so large, and my extended family so small (and far away), I've never traveled for Christmas. This year, however, the Boy was determined that I would meet his family.

Yikes.

And that involved three different trips across the state in order to be sure we visited each family at the right time. Apparently, people do this all the time. I was completely unaware. But, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Driving in the snow at night was actually kind of peaceful.

If you can't tell, I'm all about peacefulness, currently. My life has gotten harder in the past year, and it's been more difficult to find peace. So, I try to find those little things that give me peace in everyday life -- like a sort of holiday for no reason. Watching the snow fall, for instance, or just closing my eyes and listening to a worship song. God's pretty good at supplying little bits of peace when I need them.

Because sometimes, life is hard. And sometimes, you can't even get away from it in your own head. So, you sit back, close your eyes, and look for your own little holiday.

The Closer We Are To Danger...

My body and mind are now just about fully adapted to this vegan thing. I've firmly battered past the "this isn't a meal!" protests so many times that my brain is sulkily accepting hummus and pita chips with an apple, carrots, and soymilk as a balanced meal. I'm starting to want soymilk like I've always wanted milk. When I walk into the Union, I think "Hmm, how about an all-fruit smoothie? Or french fries?" instead of "Ooo, pizza smells good." I'm not getting weird stomach cramps or random fits of hunger. My stomach has realized that it's going to be getting a lot of plants, and it seems to be okay with it. I'm thinking vegan-food thoughts.

Today, for instance, I had some garbanzo beans and soy sauce leftover from my green bean / garbanzo bean mix-up earlier this week, so I thought to myself, "Mm, I wonder if I could make Ramen, without the seasoning, and mix that all up together?" And so I did. And you know what? It was filling, and it was tasty. This is a big step from my first wrinkled-nose meals of hummus and tabbouleh. Now I've acquired quite a taste for hummus, though tabbouleh can go home. It's way too vinegary. But anyway. The point is that I feel like I'm really going to make it, and it's not going to be overly difficult. I've gotten into a groove.

(Now, whether or not this groove is something I particularly want/need for the rest of my life is a different question entirely. As I've addressed previously, I'm hoping these cravings for soymilk will stop once I've got the real deal back. Wait a second, what does milk taste like? Oh dear. o.o)

The thing that's tested me the most so far, however -- even more than the bagels and cream cheese at Women's Weekend -- happened last Saturday. I had a friend up to visit, and we made cookies together. We made snickerdoodles, to be precise. Snickerdoodles are arguably my favorite cookie ever. And I helped mix the dough, roll out the doughballs in cinnamon sugar, and salvage them from the oven before they burnt. And while everyone else was eating them, I just watched. And smelled. That was tempting.

But even then, I feel like the phrase "The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm" holds true. In the situations where I'm surrounded most by food I can't have, I block myself off from the thought of it. I'm not ever really seriously close to giving in, even though the cookies (or pizza, or pancakes) look and smell scrumptious. The times when I'm closest to giving in are the little things. It's almost vegan, except this one thing ... when it would be easier to just grab it and go. But then, just a little give here leads to just a little more give, and then a little more, and a little more ... Hm. Food for thought.

A week and two days left. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy.

St. Patty's Day And Other Adventures

Whew. Both break and my first week back flew by incredibly fast, but a lot happened. I will sum up the occurrences of these weeks with Worst-Funniest-Best.

Spring break Worst: driving all the way up to my friend's house to go home on Saturday, only to find out they were leaving on Sunday, and therefore wasting $20 in gas and $4 in tolls. >.< Plus also stopping at a shady gas station to pee and realizing that the creepy man outside was following us. O.O We got in the car, quickly, and left.

Spring break Funniest: getting A Very Potter Musical stuck in my friend's head; she doesn't watch or read Harry Potter at all. We were quoting it all week.

Spring break Best: EATING ICE CREAM AND PIZZA AND A FRAPPUCINO! And also relaxing my mind by playing Tetris all day. And also finishing Crime and Punishment, Big Sur, and reading The Great Gatsby.

School Worst: It's getting hot outside. *sweatdrop* And tabbouleh is gross. Oh yeah, and those drunk guys yelling at me last night. >.<;

School Funniest: The kids at middle school this week were hilarious. Graphing an exponential equation, one kid was really quiet, then shouted: "LIKE THE DRAGSTER!" Yes, wonderful child. It's exactly like The Dragster. XD And also one of my coworkers coming into work last night completely slammed. He was very happy and huggy. Everyone was cracking up, taking pictures -- the boss told him to go back to the bar.

School Best: The one pro about warmer weather is that I can start running again the mornings. Huzzah! Also, I like soy milk now. It only took 20 gallons of it to bludgeon my taste buds into submission. x.x

Now, I have one more comment about St. Patrick's Day: I don't think people at my college need any more opportunities to get wasted. Especially in the middle of the week. They already make obnoxious amounts of noise Thursday through Saturday. I have to wake up early on Wednesday, and the party definitely started at 6pm on Tuesday. Ugh.

And, my family sent me a wonderful care package! I now have a custom-made charm bracelet that makes delightful twinkly noises when I walk, pop tab earrings, and a lot of food I can't eat. Hey, two outta three ain't bad. *smile*

I only have two weeks and two days left of being vegan! And, since my Mom and Gramma bought me some vegan bread on Monday, I've been eating like a queen. PB&Js are such a lifesaver. However, I'm beginning to feel that this might have serious psychological issues that go along with it. I'm starting to like soy milk, which can't be a good sign, and when I doodled a cupcake earlier, my mouth watered. Let's just hope my mind is a rubber band. I'll snap back into omnivore-mode like an addict out of rehab!

...wait, that's a bad analogy. ^-^;

Spring Break

Let's start with Saturday, shall we? That was the 9 hour car ride to my friend's house + 2 hour car ride to the place where I'm actually staying. I don't mind the long car ride as much as not being able to eat and drink like a normal person, because no one wants to stop more than they have to when the car ride already takes up the entire day. Nonetheless, we stopped at Big Boy's for breakfast, which smelled unfairly of sausage and eggs. I hadn't been very hungry until we walked in, then I was suddenly famished. And I don't know if you've been to Big Boy's, but they believe in animals there. It took five minutes of frantic searching to locate something I could eat, squashed into the a la carte entree section: oatmeal.

Now, oatmeal and I have a complicated relationship. I ate it a lot as a child, and I've fixed it up in every way imaginable. A different way every time, possibly. Still, nothing I did made it taste less like paper (I suspect soy is involved. o.o). I continued to eat it, because when you have to choose between oatmeal and starvation, the gluey mess starts to look pretty appetizing. And hey, if you throw in a lot of butter and sugar, maybe even syrup, then it's at least palatable.

But this stuff at the restaurant was not palatable, because I couldn't add butter (for obvious reasons) or sugar (because bone char is usually involved), and I didn't know about the syrup they used. And mass-produced oatmeal is even worse than usual. It kinda looked like a bowl of opaque jello with lots of little lumps. Super-delicious. I managed to shove it down with the help of an entire glass of OJ and half a glass of water. The waitress brought the water, because I think she might've caught one of the micro-expressions of grossness on my face.

What a lovely lady. She had pink in her hair. It was great. ...But anyway.

Then we bunkered down for the car ride. It was dull, but otherwise okay. I became grateful for the pretzels I brought at one point, and the Swedish Fish (They're vegan! One of the many small blessings.) which I shared with my friend. She examined them closely to be sure they weren't especially vegan pretzels or Swedish Fish, then happily took part. Seriously, why would I waste money on good-food substitutes? Rice Cream taught me that that was a bad idea, and I'm never doing it again. Blech.

10 hours later, I arrived at the place where I'm staying, with a different friend. Between miscommunications and altercations with the police (nothing serious: just a burnt-out headlight) it took longer to get there than I thought it would, but it was okay. I watched Lost with my friend whilst waiting for the other one to find her house. I'd never seen Lost before, and I think it's an interesting show. My friend is in love with Sayid. Personally, I like Desmond, He may be crazy, but he has the coolest accent.

But I digress.

So I get to my other friend's house, finally, and get another lowdown on the food situation -- this time, at a time when I can actually remember it. It looks something like this:
Father: No dairy, no meat.
Mother: No dairy, no sugar.
My friend: No dairy, no sugar, no bread.
The two things that I wanted most, therefore, are definitely not in the house. All I wanted was pizza and ice cream. But, oh well. I am thoroughly enjoying my second day of not being vegan. I've drunk at least three glasses of milk, ate a third of a chocolate heart, and had cake for breakfast yesterday. And my body was apparently wanting meat so much that a salmon burger sounded good yesterday -- and I hate fish. So I had a salmon burger, and I enjoyed it. Crazy stuff, man.

Eating here isn't going to involve a lot of meat or dairy, but I'm okay with that. Like I said before, at least I don't have to read labels (though I am doing some of that, almost out of habit) and I can enjoy a glass of milk. And hummus! The dad makes his own hummus, and it's very delicious. I have been enjoying that as well. ^-^ Break is going to be great.

Bread and [peanut]Butter Living

Jesus said that man cannot live on bread alone, but I'd like to comment that bread is a nice supplement to life. I didn't realize how much I missed bread until I didn't have it for ten days. Especially when food is psychologically unfulfilling, bread is a lifesaver. In my head, I know that I'm getting all the nutrients I need. However, when I'm eating hummus and pretzels, my brain says "snack!" and waits for the meat. This is a mental issue that I'm working to overcome. In the meantime, however, I can eat a PB&J, and the sandwich-like quality of the food registers as a meal, for once. Thank goodness.

The vegan bread is due to the great kindness of my future potential roommate's family. I also came home from their house with a container of vegan spaghetti and a container of vegetable soup -- both completely delicious and unfortunately very gone. They also made vegan garlic bread while I was there: homemade french bread with olive oil and garlic. Who would've thought? I've decided that I like this family very much, especially because I can tell that they're much like my family in the eating department.

"Flavor comes from fat," the dad said, looking a bit perturbed as he tried to figure out another way to make things taste good. (He did figure something out in the end, because that soup was amazing.)

And it's true. It's surprising how much less flavorful most foods are without any animal products in them. I can even taste the difference in vegan bread versus normal store-bought bread. On one hand I feel like I taste less preservatives and unnecessary products, but I also feel like the bread is just not as flavorful. This also might have something to do with the fact that honey is not vegan. Apparently vegans also care about the multitudes of insects that we kill on a daily basis walking from the house to the car. It wouldn't surprise me if I heard that PETA was going to start calling bees honey kittens or something. Much like their mind-blowing sea kitten campaign. (Honestly. Fish look nothing like kittens. They are nothing like kittens. Why, PETA, why?) Something in me wonders if this all didn't start because of The Bee Movie...

This weekend, I also got to share the wonders of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog with my friend, and we together watched the entirety of A Very Potter Musical in one sitting. I don't know if you know, but that's quite a feat. I've been singing songs from it ever since, and I'm probably okay with that. What a refreshingly smart fan movie of a delightful book series.

Next week is Spring Break, where I get to stop being vegan for six days. Yes! However, the family I am visiting is eating all sorts of crazy-weird-almost-vegan at the moment, so I'm not sure how much of a relief it will be. Ah, well. At least I don't have to read labels.

Interesting accidentally-vegan food of the day: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yay, life! However, it's better to eat this cereal dry, because something in it makes soy milk congeal and leave little chalk-deposits all over my delicious sugary goodness. Yarrgh!