Friday, February 26, 2010

Grocery Shopping

My friend (who I shall be rooming with next year) invited me to come home with her this weekend. Since I had been meaning to take her up on this offer for a while, I agreed -- her family sounded delightfully like mine, and she lived relatively close. And I really wanted to get off campus. You start to go stir-crazy after a while, when all you see are buildings that look like they belong at a juvenile detention center. Or some sort of weird modern art prison. >.< So, I began mentally preparing some foods that I could bring with me to eat, considering the most portable and nutrient-packed. But then, she spoke up.

"Oh, don't worry about it. My brother has a vegetarian friend. I'm sure they won't mind cooking vegan."

"Uhh, are you sure?" I say, looking skeptical -- for obvious reasons.

"Yeah, really. It'll be fine. My dad will enjoy the challenge."

So I hesitantly agreed, still prepared to bring my own food, just in case.

A few days later, she told me her dad was thrilled to be cooking for me, and was already looking up recipes for vegan waffles or french toast. I decided immediately that I liked this man very much.

"We'll be going shopping on Friday," she told me with a smile.

And shopping we did, indeed. It was an adventure. We spent seven minutes picking out the very best apples, ten minutes finding bread without honey or glycerides, and another few minutes finding pasta without eggs. I was so happy, I could have cried. Tomorrow, I will have hot food. And, I won't have to spend all day reading labels. Life is good.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Carnations Are Not Roses

Golf carts are not cars. Bikes are not motorcycles. Margarine is not butter.

These things are fairly obvious to the most casual observer. Why is it that people try to pull the wool over our eyes with other things? I've been running into several tricky foods lately, and it doesn't take more than one taste to know that there's something not-quite-right about these substitutes.

1. Soy milk is not milk. It's not. Call it something else. Soy juice. Soy drink. Soy beverage. Heaven knows we have weirder names than that out there. When I look at that little blue container of Silk, with the white splashing milky substance on the front, I think, "Hm, it can't be too bad. It looks harmless." And there is where I fell into the trap of American advertising. Soy milk is actually faintly yellowish, and it tastes a bit like chalk and nuts were ground up together and mixed violently with some sort of liquid until this weird milky consistency happened. However, it's a "Great source of calcium!" so drink it I must. Anything that can give me 30% of my daily calcium is a necessity, whether or not it tastes like the water someone used to clean off the blackboard. After several valiant efforts (4 containers at least) I managed to eradicate the gag reflex. I take this as progress. Though I still want to go in and Sharpie "SILK IS A LIE!" all over the soy milk section of the grocery store...

2. If it doesn't have milk, it's not chocolate. There are a few exceptions, but those are few and far between. The label "chocolate" seems to be abused in popular culture, which is just wrong. Chocolate is not something to be trifled with. It either is chocolate, or it isn't. Don't try to tell me something is chocolate flavored, because it's not. I learned that very quickly when I tried the gluten-free-dairy-free ice cream substitute at the grocery store on campus. Worst. Experience. Of my life. It tasted like paper, with the consistency of weird sherbet. It tasted nothing like chocolate at all. They should have just said "paper flavored!" on the outside. I'm sure they would have gotten more buys from that. (Coincidentally, a friend and I looked up craving paper on Web M.D. in the newsroom last night while we were waiting for stories to come in, and it's a symptom of an eating disorder or anemia. Oh, Web M.D.)

3. Coffee lies. "Chocolate Velvet" coffee does not have chocolate -- or velvet, if you were wondering -- in it, and it tastes like burnt Tootsie-Rolls. Or plastic. (They're basically the same, anyway.) When I tried to semi-salvage it with the only diluting substance I had (soy notmilk), it did not help. Chalk + plastic = not good eats.

Interesting accidentally-vegan food of the day: Tagalongs. Yes! Just when I thought I would have to give up Girl Scout Cookies.

And I've now survived my first week of being vegan. I'm feeling good about this, and I'm definitely learning to appreciate animal products a lot more than I ever have before. Talk about never knowing what you have until it's gone!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Quotable Moments

I've learned that this vegan thing opens up a lot of opportunities for amusing quotes, both in context and out of context. For example, last night I spent several minutes haggling the dairy out of my smoothie with the Starbuck's Barista, and paid an extra 30 cents for it to be made with soy milk instead of regular milk and for them to leave out the whey protein. I was slightly depressed at this point, because I just paid $4.15 for something that was probably not going to be that great. A friend orders a smoothie as well, though hers is normal (jealousy). Mine comes out first. She gives it a wary look.

"That... looks very bland. Kinda like tofu."
"Thanks. I'm sure it tastes like tofu," I say, stabbing the straw in with some vengeance.
Seeing my disappointment in the situation at large, she tries to backpedal a little.
"No, I'm sure it's delicious. It's--"
Then I take a drink. She sees my face.
"How is it?" she says, wincing.
"Like tofu."

Or earlier, when I was walking with some friends:

"I'm so hungry I could eat my own arm! But that wouldn't be vegan!"
"No, that would not be vegan," comments a friend dryly.
"Or God-honoring! Why is it that the first thing you think of is if it's vegan or not?!" my other friend says, giving me a crazy look.

Or when contemplating whether or not to break into Jamba Juice:

"But I feel like that wouldn't be very Christian of me..."
"Would it be vegan?" a friend comments shrewdly.
"You know, I was actually wondering that. Even though it had nothing to do with food, really. It's rather violent, though. I think vegans are probably pacifists."
"What? No. Vegans are very violent."
"But... they don't eat meat."
"Yeah, well they have to make up for that somehow."

Or when surrounded by non-vegan food:

"Excuse me for a sec, I need to go nom a boulder or something since there's no food here I can eat."

Or a friend making fun of my food scarcity:

"You know, I'm pretty sure you're going to eat a piece of furniture before you're through with this. Just to do it."

Or another friend trying to assuage my calcium concerns:

"You don't really need calcium. I survived 60 days without calcium. Well, I broke my toe, but I survived. You can do it."
"...I think I'd rather take vitamins and drink orange juice. But thanks."

The laughable moments make it livable. Like barely surviving my first tabbouleh experience by alternating bites of tabbouleh with bites of cucumber whilst trying to hold a distractingly interesting conversation with friends and pulling grotesque faces. Or like weighing the pros and cons of attempting soy milk in cereal with a friend in my ear telling me how gross soy milk is. Or like my roommate laughing every time I pull out the Oreos. Because, who am I kidding? If my friend went vegan, I'd be laughing an awful lot at the consternation the poor person would be experiencing. And I feel like that's okay. Laughter makes everything a little easier to bear -- even tofu shakes.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Women's Weekend

First of all, I would like to note that women's weekend was not as bad as it could have been, all the way around. There was only one share-and-cry session, and they actually had some food that my friend and I could eat. Since I was steeling myself for lots of tears, and I brought enough food to survive the weekend (albeit a bit uncomfortably), this was a pleasant surprise.

It might have helped that the first hour and a half that I was at the church, I got to hang out with another less-than-enthused girl, where we talked about cool stuff like playing Raptor and Lava Monster on the playground, getting attacked by deer, and crowd surfing. And she also juggled things. I thought this was a very promising start to the evening, until a bunch of girls walked in and started giggling and taking pictures. The other girl and I made eye contact, sort of grimaced, and looked away.

Once I got past the fact that all the noises being made were high pitched, there were a lot of hugs and giggles, and there was a lot of talk about feeling instead of doing, it was okay. I put on my big girl boots and enjoyed myself as best I could, and listened to the speaker (who, in spite of the occasional outburst of giggling, was very good) where I learned a lot of very interesting things. We went back to basics, reaffirming who God was and who we were in God, then talked about spiritual warfare (one of the best non-weird talks I've had on it, props to her) and how to join in the combat. Most excellent.

On the food side of things, Friday night's snacks included PB&Js, and when I checked the label on the bread against my handy-dandy vegan checklist, lo and behold! There were no glycerides! I was thrilled. My friend was thrilled. We had sandwiches for dinner, and we were content. And there were also apples, which is good, because I love apples.

So, being the person that I am, I volunteered to help with breakfast at 7am, since I would most likely be awake anyway. I knew it would be a trial, since most breakfasty foods aren't vegan, but I was willing to take that risk. So, getting out of my nice, freezing cold, concrete bed at 6h40, I got ready for the day and headed down to the kitchen, prepared to help. First, I assisted with coffee. This was exciting. Coffee was very necessary, since only about 5 hours of bad sleep occurred. The next thing was a little tougher; she asked me to put cream cheese on bagels. Looking at the huge pile of bagels and cream cheese, mouth watering, I smiled and said I would.

That was a very difficult hour of my life, and I just want you to know that. Bagels and cream cheese are one of my very favorite things to eat on this earth (and I did check -- the bagels weren't okay) and I couldn't even lick my fingers when I was done. It was pretty much awful. But, I was holding out hope for a PB&J, so I made it through. However, when I went to look for the bread, it was gone. There was other bread, but this stuff had glycerides. Dangit! Turns out one of the schools had brought the snacks for the night before, and all that bread had been eaten.

Back to the drawing board. I gave my friend a Luna bar and ate one myself, along with a large pile of oranges and bananas. I tried not to think about the bagels.

Lunch was an assortment of sandwiches, which also made me sigh, but it was okay. I even managed to handle making an extra sandwich for one of my friends without any dire consequences. And the Olive Garden dinner, which we had expected to be a bust, was actually better than we expected; the catered salads didn't come pre-dressed (Italian dressing has anchovies in it. Delicious, huh?) so we could eat.

All in all, it was a good experience. I'm just in desperate need of some deep voices and violence. And I've now accomplished four days of being Vegan. Whew! Only 36 left!

(Shut up, cynic. =.=)

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Getting my feet wet

I've been keeping my eyes open in these weeks leading up to Lent, watching for "normal" foods in the Dining Halls that I would still be able to partake in after Lent started. My findings surprised the optimist in me and proved the cynic right:

The Dining Halls are barely lacto-ovo vegetarian friendly, and very rarely vegan friendly. For being such a diverse college, their food choices are varied in style but rarely include vegetarian options. The occasional garden burger is a dim hope for the vegetarian, but a no-go for the vegan -- it's covered in mozzarella. Even the cooked vegetables are cooked with lots of butter. The only viable option for Dining Halls in the next 39 days are the ones with make-your-own-salad bars. Hoboi.

So, knowing that I would need to start thinking about actual meals, I hit up the campus grocery store today (last time I was just thinking about lunch-packing necessities). My class got out early, so I had a bit of extra time to wander around the tiny building and squint at labels. I met up with one of my friends there, and we got talking about Lent (an obvious discussion, given that I was making faces and muttering to myself about companies' need to include random animal products in everything). He said that for Lent, he's going to pray every day and try to read a chapter of the Bible. I nodded and smiled; it seemed like a good goal. Then he added, as an afterthought, "and insult all the priests I can think of."

There's a college student for you.

I left the grocery store with $20 less in my meal plan. I got a Salad By Design (minus the cheese and dressing), hummus, bagel chips, a small container of soy milk (I will learn to like it), a half-gallon of OJ, and a container of tabbouleh (which was handily marked Vegan). I don't know what tabbouleh is, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

Outlook from this point: I'm still getting my feet wet. I'm positive that I can do this, and I'm eager to try new things. The cynic in me is chuckling evilly to himself, but for now, I'm pushing him into the corner. ^-^

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Lent (Day 1)

This year I decided to participate in Lent for the first time. Having a Catholic roommate was an incentive behind this decision. Plus, I've always been curious about Lent, and I wanted to give it a try. And anyway, roommate bonding is a great idea, yeah? Gritting our teeth and bearing the 40 days of fasting together is bound to have a positive effect on our relationship.

... or else we'll just kill each other. But I, being the Eternal Optimist, hold out hope for the former. After all, it's all about Jesus, right? Living at peace with your neighbor is in the New Testament someplace. (Romans 12:18)

The idea of Lent, as much as I understand it, seems like a great one, too, from a spiritual perspective. It's like a symbol to help us sort of join in Christ's suffering before and during the Cross. And the 40 days are from his 40 day fast in the wilderness. I'm all about taking a look at Christian things from a new perspective, and I think this will be good for me. Not to mention that it will give me a much greater appreciation for what I'm giving up, I'm pretty sure.

Hm, I haven't mentioned that yet, have I?

This brings in the second reason for why the vaguely-Baptist-associated Christian girl is going along with a Catholic tradition. I have a crazy friend who came up with an equally crazy idea. She wanted to go Vegan for Lent. (The ironic part is that she's a Messianic Jew. She did Lent for the first time last year with spectacular results) I was already considering giving up meat with another friend of mine, so I jumped at this idea. Go big or go home, right? Why just give up meat if I could give up all animal-derived products instead? (Read: Why just eat cardboard if I could eat rocks instead?) Why not go Vegan? I'm not going to stay a veg anyhow. As long as it's only for 40 days, I might as well. And provide some moral support for my friend (not like she probably needs it).

That was three weeks ago. It's now Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, and I hit my first obstacle. I go to downtown public schools once a week and help out in 7th and 8th grade math classes, and this entails eating lunch with the kids. Remembering my own 7th-8th grade experience (traumatic) and not wishing to estrange myself from the kids any more than my being in a teacher position already does, I was starting to worry about lunch choices. I'm sure you all remember 7th-8th grade; they're very into labels and judging. I mean, if I showed up with some weird vegan food on day 2 of working there, I would forever be "That Weird Aide That Eats Rocks" which isn't exactly the label I wish to acquire.

So I was thinking I could eat a PB&J. Easy. I checked my jelly -- yup, it's already clear. Peanut butter is a vegan staple, so I'm good there. And bread doesn't have any milk, eggs, or butter, so that shouldn't be a problem. But when I went to check the labels on the bread on the campus grocery store, I found something that startled me. It appears that there are mono- and diglycerides (glycerol from animals fats) in Arnold's Soft-Baked Wheat bread. Without stopping to consider why on earth that would be in the bread, I shrugged and picked up the next loaf, skimming through the ingredients.

Cultured Wheat Starch, Raisin Juice Concentrate
(Pause: Why is there raisin juice in here? And wouldn't it just be grape juice? Raisins are dried up grapes, right?), Enrichment... Mono- and Diglycerides! What the cow? Beginning to panic, I pick up the next brand.

And the next.

And the next.

Desperate, I move onto the bagels.

Then the mini-bagels.

They all have it! This nebulous animal-fat product has successfully infiltrated all the bread products I can buy with my meal plan. Not only am I aggravated at the food companies for such unnecessary placement of stupid glycerides, Operation Normal Lunch is in danger of failing. I had to think fast.

With relief, I remembered seeing that Ritz crackers were vegan, so I grabbed a box of those off the shelf. Fifteen minutes of label reading helped me come to the realization that there's also a nutrition/granola bar they sell that's vegan. The Luna brand bar was relatively expensive ($1.69 a pop) but boasts many helpful vitamins and minerals that will keep me hopping (such as 35% of the calcium I need for the day and 30% of the iron, along with some Vitamins A, B12, C, and D) along with the most convincing non-dairy chocolate I've yet tasted. It had me reading through the label again, just to make sure.

So Operation Normal Lunch was a moderate success. Peanut-butter Ritz sandwiches, carrots, an apple, peanuts, a Luna, and a juice were all tossed in the plastic bag and brought no funny looks from the giggling 7th grade girls.

Oh, and my roomie gave up Facebook. I'm still debating as to which one is worse. Methinks both of us are going to be a little crabby these first few days. However, I'm confident it will get better and be a great experience for both of us. And my friend, too, if she remembers to eat properly. When I saw her at 10pm today and offered her some carrots or peanuts, she looked like I'd offered her a golden goose. Apparently the dining place near her work had no vegan-friendly food. She did, however, find vegan bread at the off-campus grocery store, so I'm too busy feeling jealous to feel too bad.

But anyway.

All in all, today was pretty good. Besides a bout of queasiness at breakfast without my normal milk-balance (Note to self: Buy soy milk. Learn to like it.) and a bit of sketchy dinner due to business, I'm doing alright. I even tried hummus tonight, much to the amusement of my roommate's boyfriend. When I said I was going Vegan for Lent, he gave me a sucks-to-be-you laugh.

...I might agree, just a little.