My body and mind are now just about fully adapted to this vegan thing. I've firmly battered past the "this isn't a meal!" protests so many times that my brain is sulkily accepting hummus and pita chips with an apple, carrots, and soymilk as a balanced meal. I'm starting to want soymilk like I've always wanted milk. When I walk into the Union, I think "Hmm, how about an all-fruit smoothie? Or french fries?" instead of "Ooo, pizza smells good." I'm not getting weird stomach cramps or random fits of hunger. My stomach has realized that it's going to be getting a lot of plants, and it seems to be okay with it. I'm thinking vegan-food thoughts.
Today, for instance, I had some garbanzo beans and soy sauce leftover from my green bean / garbanzo bean mix-up earlier this week, so I thought to myself, "Mm, I wonder if I could make Ramen, without the seasoning, and mix that all up together?" And so I did. And you know what? It was filling, and it was tasty. This is a big step from my first wrinkled-nose meals of hummus and tabbouleh. Now I've acquired quite a taste for hummus, though tabbouleh can go home. It's way too vinegary. But anyway. The point is that I feel like I'm really going to make it, and it's not going to be overly difficult. I've gotten into a groove.
(Now, whether or not this groove is something I particularly want/need for the rest of my life is a different question entirely. As I've addressed previously, I'm hoping these cravings for soymilk will stop once I've got the real deal back. Wait a second, what does milk taste like? Oh dear. o.o)
The thing that's tested me the most so far, however -- even more than the bagels and cream cheese at Women's Weekend -- happened last Saturday. I had a friend up to visit, and we made cookies together. We made snickerdoodles, to be precise. Snickerdoodles are arguably my favorite cookie ever. And I helped mix the dough, roll out the doughballs in cinnamon sugar, and salvage them from the oven before they burnt. And while everyone else was eating them, I just watched. And smelled. That was tempting.
But even then, I feel like the phrase "The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm" holds true. In the situations where I'm surrounded most by food I can't have, I block myself off from the thought of it. I'm not ever really seriously close to giving in, even though the cookies (or pizza, or pancakes) look and smell scrumptious. The times when I'm closest to giving in are the little things. It's almost vegan, except this one thing ... when it would be easier to just grab it and go. But then, just a little give here leads to just a little more give, and then a little more, and a little more ... Hm. Food for thought.
A week and two days left. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
St. Patty's Day And Other Adventures
Whew. Both break and my first week back flew by incredibly fast, but a lot happened. I will sum up the occurrences of these weeks with Worst-Funniest-Best.
Spring break Worst: driving all the way up to my friend's house to go home on Saturday, only to find out they were leaving on Sunday, and therefore wasting $20 in gas and $4 in tolls. >.< Plus also stopping at a shady gas station to pee and realizing that the creepy man outside was following us. O.O We got in the car, quickly, and left.
Spring break Funniest: getting A Very Potter Musical stuck in my friend's head; she doesn't watch or read Harry Potter at all. We were quoting it all week.
Spring break Best: EATING ICE CREAM AND PIZZA AND A FRAPPUCINO! And also relaxing my mind by playing Tetris all day. And also finishing Crime and Punishment, Big Sur, and reading The Great Gatsby.
School Worst: It's getting hot outside. *sweatdrop* And tabbouleh is gross. Oh yeah, and those drunk guys yelling at me last night. >.<;
School Funniest: The kids at middle school this week were hilarious. Graphing an exponential equation, one kid was really quiet, then shouted: "LIKE THE DRAGSTER!" Yes, wonderful child. It's exactly like The Dragster. XD And also one of my coworkers coming into work last night completely slammed. He was very happy and huggy. Everyone was cracking up, taking pictures -- the boss told him to go back to the bar.
School Best: The one pro about warmer weather is that I can start running again the mornings. Huzzah! Also, I like soy milk now. It only took 20 gallons of it to bludgeon my taste buds into submission. x.x
Now, I have one more comment about St. Patrick's Day: I don't think people at my college need any more opportunities to get wasted. Especially in the middle of the week. They already make obnoxious amounts of noise Thursday through Saturday. I have to wake up early on Wednesday, and the party definitely started at 6pm on Tuesday. Ugh.
And, my family sent me a wonderful care package! I now have a custom-made charm bracelet that makes delightful twinkly noises when I walk, pop tab earrings, and a lot of food I can't eat. Hey, two outta three ain't bad. *smile*
I only have two weeks and two days left of being vegan! And, since my Mom and Gramma bought me some vegan bread on Monday, I've been eating like a queen. PB&Js are such a lifesaver. However, I'm beginning to feel that this might have serious psychological issues that go along with it. I'm starting to like soy milk, which can't be a good sign, and when I doodled a cupcake earlier, my mouth watered. Let's just hope my mind is a rubber band. I'll snap back into omnivore-mode like an addict out of rehab!
...wait, that's a bad analogy. ^-^;
Spring break Worst: driving all the way up to my friend's house to go home on Saturday, only to find out they were leaving on Sunday, and therefore wasting $20 in gas and $4 in tolls. >.< Plus also stopping at a shady gas station to pee and realizing that the creepy man outside was following us. O.O We got in the car, quickly, and left.
Spring break Funniest: getting A Very Potter Musical stuck in my friend's head; she doesn't watch or read Harry Potter at all. We were quoting it all week.
Spring break Best: EATING ICE CREAM AND PIZZA AND A FRAPPUCINO! And also relaxing my mind by playing Tetris all day. And also finishing Crime and Punishment, Big Sur, and reading The Great Gatsby.
School Worst: It's getting hot outside. *sweatdrop* And tabbouleh is gross. Oh yeah, and those drunk guys yelling at me last night. >.<;
School Funniest: The kids at middle school this week were hilarious. Graphing an exponential equation, one kid was really quiet, then shouted: "LIKE THE DRAGSTER!" Yes, wonderful child. It's exactly like The Dragster. XD And also one of my coworkers coming into work last night completely slammed. He was very happy and huggy. Everyone was cracking up, taking pictures -- the boss told him to go back to the bar.
School Best: The one pro about warmer weather is that I can start running again the mornings. Huzzah! Also, I like soy milk now. It only took 20 gallons of it to bludgeon my taste buds into submission. x.x
Now, I have one more comment about St. Patrick's Day: I don't think people at my college need any more opportunities to get wasted. Especially in the middle of the week. They already make obnoxious amounts of noise Thursday through Saturday. I have to wake up early on Wednesday, and the party definitely started at 6pm on Tuesday. Ugh.
And, my family sent me a wonderful care package! I now have a custom-made charm bracelet that makes delightful twinkly noises when I walk, pop tab earrings, and a lot of food I can't eat. Hey, two outta three ain't bad. *smile*
I only have two weeks and two days left of being vegan! And, since my Mom and Gramma bought me some vegan bread on Monday, I've been eating like a queen. PB&Js are such a lifesaver. However, I'm beginning to feel that this might have serious psychological issues that go along with it. I'm starting to like soy milk, which can't be a good sign, and when I doodled a cupcake earlier, my mouth watered. Let's just hope my mind is a rubber band. I'll snap back into omnivore-mode like an addict out of rehab!
...wait, that's a bad analogy. ^-^;
Monday, March 8, 2010
Spring Break
Let's start with Saturday, shall we? That was the 9 hour car ride to my friend's house + 2 hour car ride to the place where I'm actually staying. I don't mind the long car ride as much as not being able to eat and drink like a normal person, because no one wants to stop more than they have to when the car ride already takes up the entire day. Nonetheless, we stopped at Big Boy's for breakfast, which smelled unfairly of sausage and eggs. I hadn't been very hungry until we walked in, then I was suddenly famished. And I don't know if you've been to Big Boy's, but they believe in animals there. It took five minutes of frantic searching to locate something I could eat, squashed into the a la carte entree section: oatmeal.
Now, oatmeal and I have a complicated relationship. I ate it a lot as a child, and I've fixed it up in every way imaginable. A different way every time, possibly. Still, nothing I did made it taste less like paper (I suspect soy is involved. o.o). I continued to eat it, because when you have to choose between oatmeal and starvation, the gluey mess starts to look pretty appetizing. And hey, if you throw in a lot of butter and sugar, maybe even syrup, then it's at least palatable.
But this stuff at the restaurant was not palatable, because I couldn't add butter (for obvious reasons) or sugar (because bone char is usually involved), and I didn't know about the syrup they used. And mass-produced oatmeal is even worse than usual. It kinda looked like a bowl of opaque jello with lots of little lumps. Super-delicious. I managed to shove it down with the help of an entire glass of OJ and half a glass of water. The waitress brought the water, because I think she might've caught one of the micro-expressions of grossness on my face.
What a lovely lady. She had pink in her hair. It was great. ...But anyway.
Then we bunkered down for the car ride. It was dull, but otherwise okay. I became grateful for the pretzels I brought at one point, and the Swedish Fish (They're vegan! One of the many small blessings.) which I shared with my friend. She examined them closely to be sure they weren't especially vegan pretzels or Swedish Fish, then happily took part. Seriously, why would I waste money on good-food substitutes? Rice Cream taught me that that was a bad idea, and I'm never doing it again. Blech.
10 hours later, I arrived at the place where I'm staying, with a different friend. Between miscommunications and altercations with the police (nothing serious: just a burnt-out headlight) it took longer to get there than I thought it would, but it was okay. I watched Lost with my friend whilst waiting for the other one to find her house. I'd never seen Lost before, and I think it's an interesting show. My friend is in love with Sayid. Personally, I like Desmond, He may be crazy, but he has the coolest accent.
But I digress.
So I get to my other friend's house, finally, and get another lowdown on the food situation -- this time, at a time when I can actually remember it. It looks something like this:
Father: No dairy, no meat.
Mother: No dairy, no sugar.
My friend: No dairy, no sugar, no bread.
The two things that I wanted most, therefore, are definitely not in the house. All I wanted was pizza and ice cream. But, oh well. I am thoroughly enjoying my second day of not being vegan. I've drunk at least three glasses of milk, ate a third of a chocolate heart, and had cake for breakfast yesterday. And my body was apparently wanting meat so much that a salmon burger sounded good yesterday -- and I hate fish. So I had a salmon burger, and I enjoyed it. Crazy stuff, man.
Eating here isn't going to involve a lot of meat or dairy, but I'm okay with that. Like I said before, at least I don't have to read labels (though I am doing some of that, almost out of habit) and I can enjoy a glass of milk. And hummus! The dad makes his own hummus, and it's very delicious. I have been enjoying that as well. ^-^ Break is going to be great.
Now, oatmeal and I have a complicated relationship. I ate it a lot as a child, and I've fixed it up in every way imaginable. A different way every time, possibly. Still, nothing I did made it taste less like paper (I suspect soy is involved. o.o). I continued to eat it, because when you have to choose between oatmeal and starvation, the gluey mess starts to look pretty appetizing. And hey, if you throw in a lot of butter and sugar, maybe even syrup, then it's at least palatable.
But this stuff at the restaurant was not palatable, because I couldn't add butter (for obvious reasons) or sugar (because bone char is usually involved), and I didn't know about the syrup they used. And mass-produced oatmeal is even worse than usual. It kinda looked like a bowl of opaque jello with lots of little lumps. Super-delicious. I managed to shove it down with the help of an entire glass of OJ and half a glass of water. The waitress brought the water, because I think she might've caught one of the micro-expressions of grossness on my face.
What a lovely lady. She had pink in her hair. It was great. ...But anyway.
Then we bunkered down for the car ride. It was dull, but otherwise okay. I became grateful for the pretzels I brought at one point, and the Swedish Fish (They're vegan! One of the many small blessings.) which I shared with my friend. She examined them closely to be sure they weren't especially vegan pretzels or Swedish Fish, then happily took part. Seriously, why would I waste money on good-food substitutes? Rice Cream taught me that that was a bad idea, and I'm never doing it again. Blech.
10 hours later, I arrived at the place where I'm staying, with a different friend. Between miscommunications and altercations with the police (nothing serious: just a burnt-out headlight) it took longer to get there than I thought it would, but it was okay. I watched Lost with my friend whilst waiting for the other one to find her house. I'd never seen Lost before, and I think it's an interesting show. My friend is in love with Sayid. Personally, I like Desmond, He may be crazy, but he has the coolest accent.
But I digress.
So I get to my other friend's house, finally, and get another lowdown on the food situation -- this time, at a time when I can actually remember it. It looks something like this:
Father: No dairy, no meat.
Mother: No dairy, no sugar.
My friend: No dairy, no sugar, no bread.
The two things that I wanted most, therefore, are definitely not in the house. All I wanted was pizza and ice cream. But, oh well. I am thoroughly enjoying my second day of not being vegan. I've drunk at least three glasses of milk, ate a third of a chocolate heart, and had cake for breakfast yesterday. And my body was apparently wanting meat so much that a salmon burger sounded good yesterday -- and I hate fish. So I had a salmon burger, and I enjoyed it. Crazy stuff, man.
Eating here isn't going to involve a lot of meat or dairy, but I'm okay with that. Like I said before, at least I don't have to read labels (though I am doing some of that, almost out of habit) and I can enjoy a glass of milk. And hummus! The dad makes his own hummus, and it's very delicious. I have been enjoying that as well. ^-^ Break is going to be great.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Bread and [peanut]Butter Living
Jesus said that man cannot live on bread alone, but I'd like to comment that bread is a nice supplement to life. I didn't realize how much I missed bread until I didn't have it for ten days. Especially when food is psychologically unfulfilling, bread is a lifesaver. In my head, I know that I'm getting all the nutrients I need. However, when I'm eating hummus and pretzels, my brain says "snack!" and waits for the meat. This is a mental issue that I'm working to overcome. In the meantime, however, I can eat a PB&J, and the sandwich-like quality of the food registers as a meal, for once. Thank goodness.
The vegan bread is due to the great kindness of my future potential roommate's family. I also came home from their house with a container of vegan spaghetti and a container of vegetable soup -- both completely delicious and unfortunately very gone. They also made vegan garlic bread while I was there: homemade french bread with olive oil and garlic. Who would've thought? I've decided that I like this family very much, especially because I can tell that they're much like my family in the eating department.
"Flavor comes from fat," the dad said, looking a bit perturbed as he tried to figure out another way to make things taste good. (He did figure something out in the end, because that soup was amazing.)
And it's true. It's surprising how much less flavorful most foods are without any animal products in them. I can even taste the difference in vegan bread versus normal store-bought bread. On one hand I feel like I taste less preservatives and unnecessary products, but I also feel like the bread is just not as flavorful. This also might have something to do with the fact that honey is not vegan. Apparently vegans also care about the multitudes of insects that we kill on a daily basis walking from the house to the car. It wouldn't surprise me if I heard that PETA was going to start calling bees honey kittens or something. Much like their mind-blowing sea kitten campaign. (Honestly. Fish look nothing like kittens. They are nothing like kittens. Why, PETA, why?) Something in me wonders if this all didn't start because of The Bee Movie...
This weekend, I also got to share the wonders of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog with my friend, and we together watched the entirety of A Very Potter Musical in one sitting. I don't know if you know, but that's quite a feat. I've been singing songs from it ever since, and I'm probably okay with that. What a refreshingly smart fan movie of a delightful book series.
Next week is Spring Break, where I get to stop being vegan for six days. Yes! However, the family I am visiting is eating all sorts of crazy-weird-almost-vegan at the moment, so I'm not sure how much of a relief it will be. Ah, well. At least I don't have to read labels.
Interesting accidentally-vegan food of the day: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yay, life! However, it's better to eat this cereal dry, because something in it makes soy milk congeal and leave little chalk-deposits all over my delicious sugary goodness. Yarrgh!
The vegan bread is due to the great kindness of my future potential roommate's family. I also came home from their house with a container of vegan spaghetti and a container of vegetable soup -- both completely delicious and unfortunately very gone. They also made vegan garlic bread while I was there: homemade french bread with olive oil and garlic. Who would've thought? I've decided that I like this family very much, especially because I can tell that they're much like my family in the eating department.
"Flavor comes from fat," the dad said, looking a bit perturbed as he tried to figure out another way to make things taste good. (He did figure something out in the end, because that soup was amazing.)
And it's true. It's surprising how much less flavorful most foods are without any animal products in them. I can even taste the difference in vegan bread versus normal store-bought bread. On one hand I feel like I taste less preservatives and unnecessary products, but I also feel like the bread is just not as flavorful. This also might have something to do with the fact that honey is not vegan. Apparently vegans also care about the multitudes of insects that we kill on a daily basis walking from the house to the car. It wouldn't surprise me if I heard that PETA was going to start calling bees honey kittens or something. Much like their mind-blowing sea kitten campaign. (Honestly. Fish look nothing like kittens. They are nothing like kittens. Why, PETA, why?) Something in me wonders if this all didn't start because of The Bee Movie...
This weekend, I also got to share the wonders of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog with my friend, and we together watched the entirety of A Very Potter Musical in one sitting. I don't know if you know, but that's quite a feat. I've been singing songs from it ever since, and I'm probably okay with that. What a refreshingly smart fan movie of a delightful book series.
Next week is Spring Break, where I get to stop being vegan for six days. Yes! However, the family I am visiting is eating all sorts of crazy-weird-almost-vegan at the moment, so I'm not sure how much of a relief it will be. Ah, well. At least I don't have to read labels.
Interesting accidentally-vegan food of the day: Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Yay, life! However, it's better to eat this cereal dry, because something in it makes soy milk congeal and leave little chalk-deposits all over my delicious sugary goodness. Yarrgh!
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