The Closer We Are To Danger...

My body and mind are now just about fully adapted to this vegan thing. I've firmly battered past the "this isn't a meal!" protests so many times that my brain is sulkily accepting hummus and pita chips with an apple, carrots, and soymilk as a balanced meal. I'm starting to want soymilk like I've always wanted milk. When I walk into the Union, I think "Hmm, how about an all-fruit smoothie? Or french fries?" instead of "Ooo, pizza smells good." I'm not getting weird stomach cramps or random fits of hunger. My stomach has realized that it's going to be getting a lot of plants, and it seems to be okay with it. I'm thinking vegan-food thoughts.

Today, for instance, I had some garbanzo beans and soy sauce leftover from my green bean / garbanzo bean mix-up earlier this week, so I thought to myself, "Mm, I wonder if I could make Ramen, without the seasoning, and mix that all up together?" And so I did. And you know what? It was filling, and it was tasty. This is a big step from my first wrinkled-nose meals of hummus and tabbouleh. Now I've acquired quite a taste for hummus, though tabbouleh can go home. It's way too vinegary. But anyway. The point is that I feel like I'm really going to make it, and it's not going to be overly difficult. I've gotten into a groove.

(Now, whether or not this groove is something I particularly want/need for the rest of my life is a different question entirely. As I've addressed previously, I'm hoping these cravings for soymilk will stop once I've got the real deal back. Wait a second, what does milk taste like? Oh dear. o.o)

The thing that's tested me the most so far, however -- even more than the bagels and cream cheese at Women's Weekend -- happened last Saturday. I had a friend up to visit, and we made cookies together. We made snickerdoodles, to be precise. Snickerdoodles are arguably my favorite cookie ever. And I helped mix the dough, roll out the doughballs in cinnamon sugar, and salvage them from the oven before they burnt. And while everyone else was eating them, I just watched. And smelled. That was tempting.

But even then, I feel like the phrase "The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm" holds true. In the situations where I'm surrounded most by food I can't have, I block myself off from the thought of it. I'm not ever really seriously close to giving in, even though the cookies (or pizza, or pancakes) look and smell scrumptious. The times when I'm closest to giving in are the little things. It's almost vegan, except this one thing ... when it would be easier to just grab it and go. But then, just a little give here leads to just a little more give, and then a little more, and a little more ... Hm. Food for thought.

A week and two days left. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy.